INTRO

Introductions:
My Name is Matthew, and I am a soldier. I have an interesting view that I share from time to time with the folks I encounter as I walk the road. Some of those people have encouraged me to seek out ways to help others or simply share my views or ideas with more people. I will blog on many subjects, from things that piss me off on a daily basis to more important issues such as dealing with chronic depression and the struggles that ensue as a result. I will be taking bits and pieces from emails and rants that I have verbalized as well, so if you see something we have talked about please, smile and nod...Thanks for reading.

Monday, February 10, 2014

SELF TIME OUT


       This post is something I have shared with some co workers. They seemed to appreciate the advice, and the people I know whom I've told this to seem to really like it. A while ago a co worker came to me and said that he was having trouble with his spouse. He would get home from work all upset from the day and being lower on the totem pole at work he took a ton of orders and never gave any out. He would get home from work all stressed and the first person he would see would be his Wife. Now, he loved his Wife and he didn't mean to be so angry when he got home from work, but it was stressing him out.

       I have been there myself. Someone told me once to take a self time out. The advice I took and later passed on was to get home first. Then sit in the car, and shut the car off. Look at the dash board clock and give yourself five minutes. In that time, think about what your day was like, and how it made you feel and acknowledge it. Then realize that the person in the house, your spouse is someone you love. Someone you are good friends with is in there. The person inside isn't someone who is out to get you or subjugate you. That person inside is someone you want to spend the rest of your life loving. So, think on all that and take a deep breath. Then walk inside and leave the crap from work in the car behind you.

        The co worker I told this to said the next day and the day after that, how happy he was that he tried it, and it worked. His connection to his Wife improved. I was very happy for him and her. I think that if we take time out of our day, and let the crap from work stay at work, our families will benefit. I think that we need to be mindful of how we carry our frustrations and how we let them interfere with our families. I think that if we take the time to let our families know what they mean to us the dividends will be huge.

Thanks for reading, and good luck!

14 comments:

  1. Matthew, excellent advice, thank you for sharing! Sometimes 'advice' can be dangerous, in that if the other takes the 'advice' given and things don't work out, then that person can 'blame' the advice giver...
    But this is straight from the horse's mouth and empahsises mindfulness and the dividends to be gained from all that you say above.
    Thank you again,
    Susan

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  2. Thanks for the post. This helped a few people out here at work and a few others allong the way. I live alone and I still use this before I go inside. I don't want a bunch of anger and frustration and anxiety in my house. It helps to be mindful and de stress. Thanks again for the post!

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  3. Sometimes it's so difficult to leave work at work. My husband sometimes has trouble with it. I know he's not angry with me but it takes patience to listen to the rants. Your idea is great.

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    1. Thanks so much for the comment! I wish you luck and please have patience with him, we are only guys after all.

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  4. That's very true. Relationships are hard work but worth it.

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    1. If you both TRY to put each other first, and TRY to remember to take the other person's feelings. Yes, it is well worth it. Thanks for the comment and good luck to you and yours!

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  5. I jumped over here from the A To Z Challenge blog! Love your first post. However, my job is right here at home. I am a full-time caregiver to my husband. He has end-stage Parkinson's disease. And believe me it is a disease that affects us both but causes me more stress than him. Maybe I should start each day just taking 5 minutes to think more about how it affects him and jump out of bed ready to start the day and try to leave the stress laying under the covers!! Going to bo look around and see what else you have to say!

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    1. I think if you set an alarm for 15 minutes before you needed to be awake, and slowly came alive, you may say a prayer or two or some awareness breathing techniques, you could still accomplish the desired effect. My heart goes out to you and your Husband. Prayers and well wishes.

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  6. That sounds a good strategy. Something new to try and to remember. Thanks for sharing it.

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    1. Thank you for the comment and the attention! I do appreciate it.

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  7. It is interesting how sometimes even a 20 minute ride home probably doesn't do the trick like the 5 minutes of just sitting does. Great advice!

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    1. I sincerely think it's a trick of the mind to sit for 5. You just imagine it dragging itself out because you have other stuff to do. So, you can calm down and be aware, and process the crap from the day. Before you know it, you are ready to go into the arms of your other half!

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  8. First time commenting on your blog; came over here from A/Z Challenge blog. I have to say I totally agree with what you wrote about taking that 5 minute time out after a work day. I work at home and often have stressful days. I really like the fact that my husband is not right home at the end of my day so I can have a few minutes to decompress before he does come home so I can work out the stress of the day through thinking rather than on him so to speak. On the days he is home when I'm right off work, sometimes I just tell him "I need a few minutes by myself" before interacting with him.

    Great advice given!

    betty

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    1. Thanks for the comment, I do appreciate it. Its good to know that you can find a way to take that time to yourself. I think we all need a pause button. It helps us not take frustrations out on those close to us. Thank you and Good Luck !

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