My Name is Matthew, and I am a soldier. I have an interesting view that I share from time to time with the folks I encounter as I walk the road. Some of those people have encouraged me to seek out ways to help others or simply share my views or ideas with more people. I will blog on many subjects, from things that piss me off on a daily basis to more important issues such as dealing with chronic depression and the struggles that ensue as a result. I will be taking bits and pieces from emails and rants that I have verbalized as well, so if you see something we have talked about please, smile and nod...Thanks for reading.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Fortune Favors the BOLD

       Fear, what a bunch of BS. For a moment, let me refer to a movie. I know, big surprise right? The dangers in life that cause us to have fear, are very real. Gunfire, or being fired from your job are both very real things to fear. Fear itself however, is stupid. Anxiety or fear can be used to motivate us to act, but more often than not the actions that are caused by these emotions are counter productive unless one has been trained to recognize and deal with said fear.

       I went off on that little rant to prove a point. Sometimes the size of our fear is way bigger than the size of the actual danger and then we act silly. I went off yesterday about howling. I was talking about howling because I wanted to prove a point that we can do ANYTHING we want to if we just forget to fear what other people will think of us. Well, today I wasn't howling in public, but I may have been.

       I went to a place where there is usually a line, so you take a number and wait your turn. As numbers were called off I could see different people providing customer service behind the counter. As I always do, I watched what was going on around me and I saw something stunning. There was a woman behind the counter that was simply beautiful. Her eyes, her hair, the shade of skin, the way she moved all conveyed a sense of feminine grace that I believe has been lost lately. She reminded me of water flowing over rocks in the river. I was hypnotized and I felt myself trying to find the right words to say should I be fortunate enough to be called to her line. Sometimes, I feel the urge to say or do something silly or irrational. More often than not I chicken out at this point for fear of rejection, fear of embarrassment or tripping over my own words. My biggest fear was what if she is offended or what if she thinks I'm being unprofessional and decides to complain that I harassed her? So as I waited for my number to be called, her window was number 1, I got called to window number 2. As the man behind window number 2 took down my information, I asked him if I could have just a second. I approached window number one and asked if I could speak to her. I don't even know her name. As she approached me I found myself saying "I'm sorry for bothering you, but I just wanted to tell you that I have seen  you and you are simply stunning, I saw you and I said DAMN. I'm sorry if I'm being inappropriate, or if I offended you but you are beautiful and I just wanted to tell you that".
       She beamed from ear to ear and before she could say anything I walked briskly back to window number two and pretended that I had just said hi to a friend. I watched as this beautiful woman gathered up the other women in the back and giggling ensued and she couldn't seem to stop smiling. I feel like maybe I made her day. I'm not sure, but I think that every woman out there likes to be told that they are beautiful. I'm pretty sure that every woman out there would like to have a man come to them and do as I did, without asking for a date or staring at her chest or acting rude. I wasn't asking her out on a date, though I wish I could have. I was just telling her that she was beautiful and I noticed and I appreciated. Maybe she was back there, telling the other women that there is some silly guy out there hitting on her. Who knows what she went back there to say? What I know, is that I told her that I saw her, and she is beautiful. Maybe the next time I see her, I will remind her, that she is beautiful.

        Whatever the case, I thought, what the hell? What is the worst thing that can happen? If I'm respectful and polite, it can't be sexual harassment. If I come across genuine, even if she is married, which, I didn't see a ring, she would appreciate someone saying something nice like that. When I am in a relationship with someone, I do my best to remind myself and my partner of the little things that I appreciate about them. The company, the pat on the back that I get sometimes when I'm with a woman. The gentle way a woman does things. The sick sad truth is, I think the average man forgot to appreciate woman. I think the average woman got so used to man being that way that, when a man comes along who cares, it's seen as flattery to get something. Not genuine. I feel this is a shame and shouldn't be allowed to continue. Women should demand men treat them right or hit the road jack. I think men should stop allowing women to treat us like ATM machines, or in some cases, escorts. I am a man, and I would like to be caressed. I would like to be hugged. I would like to be treated with the same soft gentle respect that I offer to any woman I've ever been with. I will not be taken advantage of anymore.

        Fortune favors the bold, and if we never reach for that peach at the top of the tree, if we never risk the fall, we won't know how sweet it tastes because it will start to rot before it falls. Worms will get to it before it reaches the ground on it's own. DARE to be great, HUNT for the challenge, and challenge the "normal". You may never know, what if she taps me on the shoulder out in public and offers me the chance to ask her out? What if I'm so nervous that I don't? Stand up to your nerves and fight your fears. You cannot pretend to know what is at stake if you don't.
        I wish you all the best luck in the world.


  1. You are absollutely right...every woman I know would love to have a man she didn't know come up to her and tell her how beautiful she was. I was in a bar many years ago, with my husband, when a young Mexican gent came up to our booth and leaned in and said, "excuse me senorita but you are a beautiful rose." I am telling you it made my day, my week, hell maybe even my year. And my husband (he wasn't my husband at the time) never let me forget it either. He teased me about it for the next 30 years......

    1. I'm sure you deserve every bit of it. Paula, you are one of a kind. Nothing changes that. You are a special person.