My Name is Matthew, and I am a soldier. I have an interesting view that I share from time to time with the folks I encounter as I walk the road. Some of those people have encouraged me to seek out ways to help others or simply share my views or ideas with more people. I will blog on many subjects, from things that piss me off on a daily basis to more important issues such as dealing with chronic depression and the struggles that ensue as a result. I will be taking bits and pieces from emails and rants that I have verbalized as well, so if you see something we have talked about please, smile and nod...Thanks for reading.

Saturday, March 29, 2014


When you think of courage, you probably imagine the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz. Maybe you imagine a movie with soldiers dying on some foreign field of battle. Maybe you imagine courage as something more real and tangible. Maybe for you, courage is the face in the mirror. Maybe for you courage is waking up in the morning and getting out of bed and going to work knowing that today could be just as lousy as yesterday but I'm going to go to work and do my best anyways. Maybe courage is that first date, after you were courageous enough to ask for the phone number that she gave you while feeling nervous her own self.

Whatever you call it, we all have it. We all have this internal STUFF that gets activated and gives us strength when we know we should be hiding and cowering in the corner. Something inside us all forces us to stand up and challenge the bully. Something inside every one of us tells that face in the mirror, "I'm NOT DONE YET!". Something cosmic takes place in that moment when we stand instead of  cower. Something very real and powerful happens to us. We rise up and challenge the world, the enemy, our own self, who ever stands between us and what we believe, or what we want. Something that can scare us so bad that we want to run and hide, loses power in that instance and we gain it. The shift in power gives us hope, or drive.

Every single day of my life, I have a challenge. I'm not always sure what it will be, but sure enough, every day there is something I must learn from, understand, challenge, or conquer. Something happens just about every single day that makes me take a second look at the man in the mirror and wonder, what will he do next? Most often I have to overcome my urge to be scared, or second guess myself. Some times, it's a better understanding of the people around me that I'm challenged to grasp. Sometimes I have to dig for it, I'm' sad and angry and alone and feeling it and I'm not sure WHY!? That is the challenge on those days. Questions like "why must I be so scared of getting out and meeting new people?".

There is hope, for all of us out there. There is a ray of sun shine that I must share with anyone reading this. Truth be told, I don't care how many people read this, for me just writing it is a little victory, getting the thoughts out and being able to look at them. This is therapy for me. I'm okay with that. That's why I'm not trolling around trying to get more people to follow me. I respect everyone and I appreciate all the comments. Believe me, if you are reading this and offering constructive thoughts and comments, I appreciate you more than you could know. It validates what I already believe. I'm getting off the point. Allow me to digress.

The hope out there is in the form of positive reinforcement. Every time we take a step forward, show that courage, we are bolstered. Ironic isn't it? When we act out of courage and fail, we draw back. When we act out of courage and succeed we feel like we could take on the next TEN obstacles and be victorious. However, if we act out of courage and FAIL, well the some of us try again. The harder we try and the more effort we express, the more we push ourselves the sweeter the victory when we finally do overcome the challenge. Notice how, there is no down side here? When we act out of courage, we win, no matter what. Either we overcome the challenge, or we fail and are afforded the opportunity to learn from that failure. The only true failure is not learning. Who the heck wants to go through something unpleasant and not walk away with anything? We just need to be smart or patient enough to learn from the experience. Open our minds enough to allow for learning.

I woke up today, and for the first time in a long time I was HUNGRY. I'm not talking about physical hunger, although I did enjoy my coffee and yogurt. I'm talking about the hunger for the next lesson. I have things that are happening in my life right now, like everyone, BEYOND MY CONTROL. I was hungry for the next challenge. I was HUNGRY for the next obstacle. I DESIRED the thrill of uncertainty. Who the heck wants to live a boring life, day in day out, knowing what will happen tomorrow? So scared of something foreign that we ignore the things we should be noticing. The things we take for granted will claim our complacency and rob us of the opportunity to become something GREAT. I am happy today because today, for the first time in a long time, I narrowed my eyes at the future, at the man in the mirror. I gritted my teeth and softly whispered "BRING IT ON".

I wish that everyone would find the courage within themselves to climb out of the comfort zone, because that's where the magic happens. Continue to do the things that allow you to express yourself. If you fail, LEARN and then succeed at finding out what else doesn't work. Solve the internal mystery of who you are, and learn those strengths and weaknesses. KNOW YOURSELF, and respect yourself. Then the courage will bloom like a flower on a spring morning, just as bright, just as beautiful, and the victory will smell just as sweet.

Best wishes to you all, thank you for reading.


  1. My favorite line is :" The only true failure is not learning. " You on spot on! Keep up with the courage. It is so hard at times

  2. Thank you for reading, and following. I agree that it is hard, often times being courageous is too difficult to think about.
    Best wishes.