My Name is Matthew, and I am a soldier. I have an interesting view that I share from time to time with the folks I encounter as I walk the road. Some of those people have encouraged me to seek out ways to help others or simply share my views or ideas with more people. I will blog on many subjects, from things that piss me off on a daily basis to more important issues such as dealing with chronic depression and the struggles that ensue as a result. I will be taking bits and pieces from emails and rants that I have verbalized as well, so if you see something we have talked about please, smile and nod...Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

A better me.

      We can all do our best to strive to be the best people we can be. We get frustrated when things don't go our way and we get jaded when we are burnt bad enough time and time again. When someone is mean to us we want to retaliate. We wish we could inflict upon that person the same pain they inflict upon us. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. We all know that just leaves us all blind and toothless. We all know that violence isn't the answer unless it's the absolute last resort. We still want to harm people who harm us or the ones we hold dear.
       In my daily efforts to be a better human being, a better man, I am working on something important. I seek to defy the nature of mankind. Mankind is inherantly antagonistic toward itself. We have seen wars and strougle and poverty over the decades. We have seen people treat eachother with complete and total disregard. On a side note, I think that the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. I think that to feel hate you still regard the other person, to feel indifferent is the absence of emotion, and that is the opposite of love in my opinion. When we completely disregard others, we don't even show them the courtesy of acknowledging the presence of another person at all. Treating people with malicious intent and being nasty is just something that people do out of spite, or some internal urge to express power when they feel powerless. I believe that this happens when someone isn't secure in their ability or understanding of themselves. I don't need to crush a tin can with my hands to know that I'm powerful. I don't need to insult someone else to know that I'm intelligent.

        I know that I'm insecure, but knowing that allows me to consider myself with regard to my capabilities. I'm capable of doing many things. I can write, cook, sing, and a few other hidden talents which I won't discuss here. I don't need to prove these talents to anyone but when I do use them, I try to use them in a way that enriches others. I cook for other people to share my joy of the art. I write, in this blog as an outlet and a forum for my thoughts. As stated before in another post entirely, I write also because I think that it may help other people. The moment I use my gifts, skills, or attributes to harm other people, I'm disrespecting them and their power. Taking something beautiful and making it ugly is something people have a tendancy to do. Wars have proven this time and time again. We can create just as well as destroy though. People have turned junk, trash, scraps, and other "useless" things into great works of art for a long time now.
        I simply can't relate, nor do I want to, to the people out there who mistreat others for the sheer joy of it. I don't understand how being nasty can be good. I can understand how it can help the person subjected to this torment. They can learn how NOT to be, how it feels like when someone treats them like that and maybe never treat another person that way because of that lesson. The person acting that way, however, must be in desperate need of help or attention. I don't judge, I just dont want to be like that or around people like that. We work with them, we see them on the road when we drive from place to place.

        So, I intend to be confident, and do everything in my power to be kind to those around me every day. I resolve to consider everyone's feelings before saying anything or acting any way around people. I resolve to make a conscious effort to treat people with the utmost respect and consideration lest I fall short of my goal. My goal, of course, is to be a better Matthew than I was the day before. If through understanding, and thought, and study I can do that, then I am going to continue to do so. I want to LOVE the world, and I want the world to see me, unafraid. So I intend to thwart the logic of being mean because someone is mean to me. I intend to challenge Eye for an eye. I plan to make every effort to be a better man one day at a time. I want to do this simply because it is the right thing to do....

I wish you all the best of luck and thank you for reading...


  1. I, too, don't want to be blind and toothless. Well said!

    1. Paula, you are always first to respond. Thank you so very much for keeping me going. Thank you for the feedback and for never leaving me to wonder if anyone is reading. I truly appreciate you.

    2. You are welcome. I think what you have to say is important. I gain a lot of insight from your writing! It's important that we let each other know that others hear what we have to say